Resolutions for 2009

Such pressure.
Today I was asked "hey, whats your resolution this year"?
Always interesting to be asked a question in front of perfect strangers while trying to get a medication refilled so I replied with "wait".
His "miracle ear" had to loudly say "WEIGHT, you don't need to lose too much WEIGHT".
At this point everyone from the "dropping off line", to the "medication on sale isle", and the "bakery section were privy to my "conversation".
I turned my cart so I could face him and I said (calmly) "no, I said wait - as in you need to wait".
He said oh I "thought you said WEIGHT and I looked at your stomach and I said don't loose too much WEIGHT". I said "I head you as did half the people with 50 feet of us did as well.
As the blinking "status number" changed slowly overhead, I cross referenced my number, for the 100th time and went into the "rx ready line" YIPPEE.
The line wound and before I knew it the "WEIGHT" yell er was reading a magazine like People and talking to himself. I timed it that if the person in front got the teller to the left that I COULD get my medication without having to say anything else to the yeller. My plan was in action.
Arrival at the counter -rang up my item = asked if there was anything else? I look at the yeller who was still looking at the models in summer tanning outfits. I was seconds away from...escape. I handed the teller my card and then signed the ticket and turn to walk away....done. I took one step and heard "HEY" coming from the yeller followed by "Mr. Schrembs please return to the Pharmacy".
I was being "triangulated" on all sides. The Pharmacist had forgotten to give me my card back (THANKS as that would be a bummer if I had lost that) so I said thanks.
Mr. Yeller was back in my view and he said, with a weird look on his face, "out of these three models which one is the hottest". I told him that I was happily married, in love, so I wasn't the right person to ask. He protested so I realized I should walk fast and get out of there. Mr. Yeller turned the page and said "here they are is it number 1, 2 ,3" (with photos under the 1,2,3 caption). I didn't have time so I walked a little faster towards the auto-opened doors and he said "1, 2, or 3" loudly so many people were looking IN ADDITION to the others who were enjoying these exchanges so I put my right hand up and said "bye" and walked away. As I was given the "thank you for visiting Walmart today" I heard Mr. Yeller say Bye what is Bye to which the Walmart Greeter said that is when one persons likes men and women.
As I was about to put my key into the truck I nodded my head thing "first fat and now bi"...only in PUBLIC could these two "statements come out and be completely wrong yet those who heard it will....remember.
My resolution is to go to Walmart at different times of the day with 3 month supplies.